IDF Flyover - WOW!

Watching the awesome might of IDF air power strafing the skies of Jerusalem with tearful pride as a new Israeli , and as a Jew, with deep humility at HaShem's grace, kindness & mercy to us at this hour in our national history. Weapons of war we have a-plenty, brave soldiers and heroes abound, we are the best of the best surrounded by a sea of hostility so vast that only G-d's hand can prevail. G_d bless the IDF and G_d in the merit of every soldier & civilian lost and the millions of Amidah prayers recited daily throughout the centuries - "SIM SHALOM" - Establish peace upon us!

Tanach Tiyulim!

There is nothing as fun as taking a "Tanach Tiyule" in the Land of Israel!
Here I am standing on the site of Ein Dor, where King Saul came to ask the "Witch of Ein Dor" to call up the Prophet Samuel from the grave to tell him what to do about the war against the Philistines.
Note to Classic TV Enthusiasts: could the writers of the '60's sitcom "Bewitched" have been Tanach students? After all, Samantha's mother - the biggest witch of them all - was named "Endora."

Barbie May Yet Save Western Civilization!

In what may be the biggest clue yet as to the inherit weakness of world-wide Islamo-Fascism, the government of Iran has revealed that they are very, very afraid of BARBIE.

The Jerusalem Post reports:

A top Iranian judiciary official has warned against the "destructive" cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.
Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said in an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi that the Western toys was a "danger" that needed to be stopped.
Iranian markets have been inundated with smuggled Western toys in recent years partly due to a dramatic rise in purchasing power as a result of huge increase in oil revenues.
In Monday's letter, Najafabadi called for a crackdown on the smuggling of these toys which threatened Iranian culture.

We should be AIRDROPPING BARBIES into Iran every day until the little girls rise up against their evil oppressors and demand freedom - "ACCESSORIES NOT INCLUDED!!!"

Gushalicious

In the shade of the old oak tree of Gush Etzion, on "Tanach Tiyuleem" from Hevron to Jerusalem, "In the Footsteps of the Olei Regalym" (Pilgrims). We explored parts of the Derech Avot (Highway of the Fathers)and Roman roads in the Gush, as well as the Tell of Hevron, where King David hung out when he "reigned in Hebron for seven years."
The Land of Israel is delicious. Our tour guide, Aryeh Routenberg (Kfar Etzion Field School) is considered by many as the pre-eminent
tour guide of tiyulei eretz yisrael. He rarely guides in English his tiyulim are truly works of art.

"A Crime by One Jew is a Crime by All Jews"

My grandfather David Lieberman (of blessed memory) wrote in a letter to me in 1972 the following: "If a newspaper tells of a rape, a murder, a theft, a hijacking or any act contrary to recognized good social behavior, I hold my breath till I can't find a name that sounds Jewish. A crime by one Jew is a crime by all Jews. That's the way it has been, that's the way it will always be." He wrote that to me in the context of how the Gentile world views us. It's as true today as it was when he wrote it in 1972. This accusation of Ben Ami Kadish (pictured here), a U.S. Jew who worked for the U.S. Army, spying for Israel only goes to the heart of the question - to whom do we (American Jews) owe our loyalty? As an American Jew who has made Aliyah and now lives in Israel, I advise any U.S. Jews who want to "help" Israel - move here. That's the only way you are going to help. Espionage, spying, treason and subterfuge in the name of "helping" Israel will only hurt us.
I have to agree with what my Grandfather wrote to me 35 years ago. A crime by one Jew is a crime by all Jews - in the eyes of the Gentile world. I cringe at what I know American Gentiles are saying today about this accusation. Remember the Rosenbergs.

Burning Our Chametz - Right Outside My Bedroom Window!

When Pesach falls on Saturday night as it does this year, there are some complications regarding the search for and burning of chametz (anything with leaven). This morning (Friday) we burned all the chametz we found in our search last night - and when I awoke to the smell of fire, I realized that YES INDEED, the main chametz-burning station in my Jerusalem neighborhood (Nachlaot) is RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW... a.k.a., "The Dumpster."

Everyone knows "The Dumpster." It is famous for being ground central for recycling stuff as well as the home of at least a hundred feral cats and the dumping area for almost everything (including trash). Well, now I know that it's also chametz burning headquarters in this part of town. These pictures were taken from my back balcony.

Controversy - whether or not to recite the bracha annulling all possession of chametz? At least seven Ashkenazi rabbis have walked by and admonished the crowds NOT to recite the bracha until tomorrow after Kiddush (before 11:30am) as we still "need" bread (pita or something with chametz in it) to make Motzi AFTER Shul but BEFORE the halachic hour when all chametz must be burned and annulled.

However the Timini (Yeminite) Orthodox are saying VERY long recitations of something from their Siddur which sounds fantastically Kabbalistic when they are burning their chametz. The Ashkenazi Haredeem are shaking their heads "no" but the Timini are doing it anyway. As far as the regular run-of-the-mill Sephardi, some of them seem to be reading something from their siddurs but not all of them. And the poor people like me who became observant as adults and were not raised FFB - "Frum From Birth" - are just trying to figure out WHAT TO DO WHEN.

Note to "Anonymous"

FYI - no one named "Anonymous" gets to have his / her comments published on my blog. If you have something to say, have the courage to use your name.
But I will respond to "Anonymous" 's accusation that I "hate Muslims." Far from it. I love them like I love everyone created in G_d's image. What I hate is radical fundamentalist Islamic Jihad-ism and what it has done / is doing / intends to do to our world. YOU should hate it too, unless you're someone with a death wish - in which case I recommend becoming a heroin addict which will get you there quicker and leave less of a mess behind.

Orthodox Jew Booted from Plane for Praying

This just in ... and it would have never happened if it had been a Moslem man saying his prayers at the rear of the plane!
FYI for uninformed readers...this Orthodox Jewish man was reciting the Shemona Esrei of Maariv, and it is forbidden to move from the place you begin the prayer until you finish the prayer, which is why he couldn't return to his seat until he finished his recitation.
Halacha (Jewish Law) states that Maariv can't be recited until 3 stars are visible in the night sky, which is why he couldn't have done it any earlier (like in the airport itself while waiting for the plane). Because the plane was flying WEST (towards San Francisco) he couldn't have done it while the plane was in-flight because it would be lighter not darker the more west-ward the plane went, and by the time it would be dark enough it would be too late to say the prayer.

Praying passenger removed from plane at NY airport
(c) Associated Press
A passenger who left his seat to pray in the back of a plane before it took off, ignoring flight attendants' orders to return, was removed by an airport security guard, a witness and the airline said.
The Orthodox Jewish man, who wore a full beard, a black hat and a long black coat, stood near the lavatories and began saying his prayers while the United Airlines jet was being boarded at John F. Kennedy International Airport on Wednesday night, said Ori Brafman, a fellow passenger who spoke about the incident by phone from San Francisco, where he lives.
When flight attendants urged the man, who was carrying a religious book, to take his seat, he ignored them, Brafman said. Two friends, who were seated, tried to tell the attendants that the man couldn't stop until after he'd finished his prayers in about 2 minutes, he said.
When the man finally stopped praying, he explained that he couldn't interrupt his religious ritual and wasn't trying to be rude. But the attendants summoned a guard to remove him, said Brafman, a writer who had been visiting New York to talk to publishers.
The plane, Flight 9 to San Francisco, took off without the man. It landed at its destination as scheduled, Brafman said.
Robin Urbanski, a spokeswoman for United Airlines, a subsidiary of UAL Corp. with headquarters in Chicago, confirmed the man was taken off the plane and put on another flight Thursday morning.
Urbanski said flights cannot depart if all passengers are not in their seats, which risks a delay, and it is important that passengers listen to the instructions of the flight crew.
The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which runs area airports, and the Transportation Security Administration, which handles airport security, said Thursday they weren't involved in the incident.

Tyuleem Season!

First

"Tyule"

("field trip") of the season today with my Ulpan class, we went to Cesarea and Zichron Yaakov on what has been so far the hottest day of the year. At Cesarea all the "grown ups" were doing grown-up things, but I (and the one lone child who accompanied his mother) ran to the ocean to stick our poor tired very overheated feet into the wonderfully refreshing Mediterranean Sea.

At Zichron Yaakov (the 3rd of the "Moshavot," the "Mothers" of the Moshaveem from the first and second Aliyahs) we visited the cemetery, where our pioneers lay quietly waiting for their souls to be restored to their bodies. As one of the early pioneer mothers said when the Turks and then the British tried to drive them out:

"We'll eat the stones if we have to, but we aren't leaving."

Amen, sister!

Giving Directions

Only in Jerusalem can a couple of Russian women stop me on the street and ask, "Efo ha ohel Christos?" ("Where is the tomb of Jesus?") and I can reply: "Which one?"
We then discuss if they are looking for the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (located inside the Old City) OR the Protestant alternative, "Gordon's Calvary," located outside the Old City walls just northeast of Damascus Gate.
Once we determine which way they want to go (in this case, they wanted to go to where the Russian Orthodox Christians think Jesus is buried, i.e. the Church of the Holy Sepulchre) I gave them directions and they went on their way.
I love living here.

"Dudu Dag" - The BEST FISH in the Shuk!

Nestled in Jerusalem's Mahane Yehuda Shuk is "David Dageem" (David's Fish), which I call "Dudu Dag" ("Dudu" is the nickname for David and "Dag" is "fish" in Hebrew).
Pictured here is Yoseph, all of 22 years old and the expert in all things fishy - the cooking and cleaning and preparation of, as well as history, origin, etc. Buying fish for Shabbat at Dudu Dag is a weekly ritual I've come to love - everybody gathers at the counter and Yoseph, Dudu and the restof the Dudu Dag Gang proudly display their latest catches - pictured here is a whole GROUPER, part of which I'm cooking for dinner tonight (soaking it first in lemon water, then adding a bit of oil, salt and pepper and grilling it before it goes onto the blech....) There are many purveyors of fish at the Shuk but only ONE Dudu Dag! Enter through the Agrippas side where "Etrog Man" (the juice guy) is, between the Open & Covered Shuk entrances, go straight down and you'll find Dudu Dag right there. Shabbat Shalom!

From Long Beach to JTown - Shul By The Shore Reunion

A small but important meeting of "Shul by the Shore" in Jerusalem took place at Cafe Rimmon when SBTS Alumni Caroline Schlagel and her Israeli boyfriend Radik came to town to visit. Pictured here is Caroline (a fellow Sagittarian world-traveler) with me at Cafe Rimmon. Rabbi Abba Perlemutter - where are you when we need you?

Visit www.shulbytheshore.org to find out more about the best place in California (and probably all of the U.S. as far as I'm concerned) to connect to your Yiddishkite - and the best "connector" ever, Rabbi Abba Perlemutter!

Got My Israeli Drivers License!

In what has to be described as a miracle on par with the parting of the Red Sea or manna raining from heaven, yesterday I passed my Israeli driving test and today I received my Israeli Drivers License (a very VERY tired but relived me pictured here holding the "temporary").

Although I grew up on the Los Angeles freeway system and have spent 35 years driving under the most intense and hazardous urban conditions in American history (including logging 70,000 miles during the last two years of my tenure at Charter Media), and although I have a perfect driving record, somehow that wasn't...good enough. I had to suffer the indignity of both lessons and a test. My driving instructor actually wept after our first lesson - probably from relief that she had survived it. I may seem like I drive fast, but actually I'm a very safe driver - to echo Dustin Hoffman's character in the movie "Rainman" - "I'm an excellent driver!"

So to circumvent the possibility of failure, I decided to pretend to be a really, really slow and stupid driver, thereby passing under the rod of the test administrator. "Fake it till you make it," as they say in AA. Or is that AAA? Can't remember. Either way - I'm an official Israeli Driver now....honk, honk, HONK!!!!

Top 10 Lists!

In honor of my 1-Year Aliyah Anniversary, I offer the following “Top Tens”:

Top 10 Quality of Life Improvements in Israel in the last 30-Something Years*

* “30-Something” is a period of time reckoned from 1974, the year I came to Israel for the first time with a Jewish Federation kibbutz Ulpan summer program. “The 70’s” refer to that trip as well as my next visit in 1976, during which I lived in Ramat Eshkol (north Jerusalem) with an Israeli family for 6 months between High School and College.

1) Toilet Paper – almost everywhere! Plus, the quality of the paper itself – massively upgraded, almost American-quality as opposed to the green or purple crepe paper featured in 90% of Israeli bathrooms during the ‘70’s. Just yesterday I was in the King David Hotel, reminiscing about how I used to steal toilet paper from their bathrooms and hide it in my backpack about twice a week when I lived here in 1976. Now, pretty good toilet paper is so…everywhere, I needn’t resort to theft or subterfuge.
2) No smoking in movie theaters anymore. Used to be that going to the movies in Israel was a 2-hour second-hand smoke-fest, punctuated only by an intermission during which everyone would – you guessed it, smoke.
3) Almost no “Garanim” (Sunflower seeds) spitting on the streets. Perhaps somewhere along the way a law was passed forbidding this used-to-be-ubiquitous activity. As a matter of fact, no Garanim spitting in movie theaters either – wow, without the smoking and without the Garanim-spitting, it’s almost no fun to go to the movies anymore here.
4) Ulpan Teachers no longer allowed to beat students. Apparently corporal punishment during Kitah Aleph Ulpan (“First grade Hebrew school”) was also outlawed along the way, along with Garanim spitting. “Raging Rivka,” my first Ulpan teacher at Kibbutz Ein HaShofet during the summer of 1974 used to smack us on the back of our heads with a rolled-up copy of HaAretz whenever we made a mistake, which pretty much meant almost every time I was called upon to speak. I still flinch whenever I see a copy of HaAretz.
5) Israelis now issued cell phones at birth instead of packs of cigarettes. Fact: 6.2 million Israelis, including children and elderly. Fact: 8.2 million cell phones currently in use in Israel. You do the math. Plus, very few Israeli children can smoke and talk on the cell phone at the same time, especially while holding a bottle or suckling a breast.
6) At least a passing concern for environmentalism. Although not necessarily widely practiced among Haredi (Ultra-Orthodox) households whose use of plastic plates, utensils, cups, tablecloths and packaging (especially on Shabbat) is staggering, Israelis in general are growing in awareness of environmentalism and all things “green.” Unfortunate that “green,” a concept I support, is also the color of the “Green Line,” a concept I abhor.
7) The Hybrid Israeli Man. Truly a stunning evolution from the 70’s, when one’s choice was either / or (i.e., either a skinny, nerdy, clumsy Yeshiva boy or a handsome, charming hiloni (non-Religious) Kibbutznick.) Now we have “Religious Zionist Guy,” who is either a Yeshiva Boucher with both balls and guns, or a Bal Teshuva Kibbutznick-turned-Talmudeem Chacham. Either way, it works- the best of both worlds in one cool, hot package! Which brings us to the next great thing….
8) Israeli Soldiers: Still the Best! I smile whenever I see them, and I see them everywhere. Thanks for the memories. And to the more demographically appropriate Reservists...thanks for still being here.
9) Torah Learning Now Available in English, Women Often Welcome! Thankfully, Orthodox Torah teachers such as Rabbi Chaim Brovender and Rabbi Sholom Brodt as well as women’s learning institutions such as Nishmat have opened Torah, Talmud and Gemarah learning up for women in English. Kabbalah, Zohar, Gematria and Chassidut learning opportunities also abound, as well as Chumash, TaNaCh and Parsha Shavuot. B”H, something for everybody, almost 24/7 here in Jerusalem …or 24/6, as the case may be.
10) Roads: Sometimes Even Paved AND Marked! Driving is much more fun with paved, well-lit roads featuring clearly demarcated lanes, visible signs and the occasional rest stop. There are several of those kinds of highways here now, like Highway 1, Highway 4, some of Highways 60 and most of Highway 90…and especially the new high-tech toll road, Highway 6. For nostalgia one can always drive through the road systems now under the municipal jurisdiction of the PA. If you enjoy road conditions condemned by all known international standards and potholes as abundant as bullet holes in the ceiling of an Arab wedding hall, you’ll love a drive down Highway 449 in Samaria from Taibe to Ofra!

Top 10 “Room for Improvement” Suggestions:

1) Launch public awareness campaign about the proper use of toilet seat covers. Regarding public bathrooms of all sorts and the device known as a toilet seat cover: they are to sit upon, never to stand upon or heaven forefend, remove. Preferably they should be used with a flushable sanitary paper toilet seat cover, but I realize this is probably too much to ask of a largely immigrant population who came from countries and cultures where squatting over fetid holes was a normal everyday activity. If the Ministry of Absorption took a moment to educate immigrants from the former Soviet Union countries about toilet seat basics, a little effort could go a long way.
2) The “Asher Yatzar” Beracha is NOT a substitute for soap and warm water. Note to my fellow Religious, Observant, Frum-From-Birth and Baal Teshuva brothers and sisters: after using the bathroom it is important to use BOTH soap and water to actually WASH one’s entire hands, preferably with warm water (if available) and up to the wrists. Making the “Asher Yatzar” Beracha while pouring a soupcon of cold water over the backs of one’s hands from the knuckles down may indeed destroy spiritual impurities, but it does NOT kill germs. If unsure as to whether to perform Asher Yatzar before or after washing with soap and water, consult your customary halachic expert or local rabbi.
3) Revoke the Drivers Licenses of ALL Sabras (native-born Israelis). Require them all to attend anger management classes, and upon graduation, undergo personal exams to demonstrate temper control before allowing them to drive again. This could save hundreds of lives every year, and millions of shekels in health care costs such as high blood pressure medicine, etc.
4) Israeli Waiters and Waitresses: Don’t look shocked when asked for ice in water. In fact, stop acting like we’ve asked for the blood of your firstborn child when asked “May I get ice with my water, please?” Ice machines, ice-cube trays and bags of ice are now common items, we no longer have to send our best runners up to the snowy top of Mount Hermon to fetch the pleasant cooling substance for our drinks.
5) Cell Phone Etiquette: Learn It! Don’t make or receive phone calls at the Kotel. Your fellow Egged bus passengers don’t need to hear every “he said / she said” word about your in-laws latest fight. Cell phone conversations reviewing grocery lists while in OB/GYN stirrups are also strongly discouraged. Also, why shout “Allo!” into a ringing phone when a pleasant “hello?” would do? “Allo” is not a word in ANY language, while “hello” clearly is. Do yourselves a favor: add an “H” to “Allo” and we’ll all be happy.
6) Pick up after Dog Doo, ESPECIALLY in Jerusalem! How is it possible that Jews can allow their animals to defecate upon the streets of the Holy City and just…leave it there???? Incomprehensible.
7) Hire a Copy Editor for ANY written English item – menus, signs, pamphlets, posters, business cards, promotional materials, whatever. Don’t allow a non-“Mother-tounge” English-speaker to write any collateral materials or you will be spending money on mistakes, and correcting mistakes with more mistakes. If I had just 10 Agarot for every English spelling and grammar mistake I see, I could fly first-class on El Al during the height of tourist season for free.
8) Food Service Workers: Stop Smoking on the Job! Nothing kills the appetite like watching the guy serving you in the food line drop his ash into your spaghetti, and calmly hand you the plate. Note: tobacco is not a food item, a flavoring or a seasoning. Keep it away from my food.
9) Stop Transliterating English words into Hebrew on signs! The rule should be: if it’s a transliterated word it must be in a different font. I shouldn’t have to stand in front of a sign for half an hour trying to figure out what Hebrew verb root works with what ends up being a name like “Party Girl” - Pey Resh Tet Yud, Gimel Resh Lamed! Not even Rashi could figure that out!
10) Check, Please! The Israeli economy could benefit by an estimated 22 billion shekels per year if restaurant operators understood the concept of “turning tables.” However, the custom here is to seat guests, make them wait forever to order, bring them food and then ignore them for as long as possible or until confronted face-to-face, demanding a check. Best solution so far is simply to utilize the universally understood hand gesture that says, “Bring me the check, please!” It’s all in the wrist action.

Top 10 Most Shocking Changes in the last 30-Something Years:

1) Demoralization. How the general Israeli public has gone from strong and proud to beaten down and discouraged. It’s horrible and it’s got to stop, and it’s up to us New Olim to bring hope and sanity to our fellow Jews who have been on the ground here taking it for us all along. We show up with our Anglo culture, money and lifestyle and expect them to be grateful? We should be thanking them for holding down the fort and asking what we can do for them.
2) Fat. Israelis NEVER used to be fat. In fact, calisthenics were featured every morning on Israel’s state TV station (in glorious black and white) when I was here in the 70’s. Fast food was unknown and the concept of waste was frowned upon. Beautiful, healthy bodies were ubiquitous. Now McDonalds, Burger King and other international corporate fast-food brands have invaded the country, and “super-sized” portions are commonly served at restaurants. Fast food is more dangerous than Hamas to the short and long-term health and well-being of Israeli society.
3) Drugs: everyone is on them. And I do mean everyone. Used to be (‘70’s again), Israeli teenagers had contempt for … let’s say, American pot-smoking teenagers from California … and were proud of their drug-free status. How many times did my Israeli teenager friends tell me the reason the Arabs always lost the wars was because they were all stoned? Now the commonest thing in the world in every strata of society including the Religiously observant is hash (which some call “hashballah” after the supposed importer of all that smoke Hezballah). But it’s not the hash that bothers me – it’s the prescription drugs, freely given to a society strung out on the stress and strain of living under the constant threat of extinction. And in fairness to the Haradi (Ultra-Orthodox) stoners I know, they all have their own personal pipes or smoking devices which they don’t share with women. Because that would be immodest, after all.
4) Arab Shuk – too clean! What happened? In the olden days if you wandered down the wrong alley off King David Street in the Old City’s Arab Shuk, you’d find yourselves kicking bloody goats hooves out of the way while swatting flies and squeezing past veiled women screaming for bloody bags of fly-specked meat from Arab butches. Did I use the word “bloody” enough in the previous sentence? Now it’s all clean and polite, sanitized and almost … retail. I heard they moved the bloody butchers, swarming flies and screaming veiled women zone to East Jerusalem, outside of Damascus Gate.
5) Far Less Land Mass and Confusing Travel Restrictions. In 1974 one could (and in my case, did) travel freely from Rosh Hanikra on the border of Lebanon in the north to Sharm-el-Shechk at the tip of the Sinai in the south. Now the Sinai is considered “Egypt,” and patchwork-quilt “Area A,” “Area B” and so-forth kind of restricted or even forbidden zones are scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. And of course there’s Gaza, never a garden spot or a vacation zone, but now a deadly neighborhood whose poison spills out daily in Kassams and the occasional Katusha rocket.
6) Unauthorized (by me) Changing of Hebrew Words. Stop changing words and phrases without prior permission from the Court of World Opinion and/or me. Worst offender: “Sherutim” (“Services”) is now the word used for “Beit Shamush” (which is what we used to call the bathroom – literally, house of flushing, a.k.a. “water closet”). “Efo ha Beit Shamush?” (“Where is the bathroom?”) was the very first Hebrew phrase I learned in 1974 and it still holds a dear place in my heart for sentimental reasons. “Efo ha Sherutim?” just doesn’t cut it for me.
7) Invasion of Corporate American Brands. McDonalds. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Burger King. At least the Israelis had the good sense to drive Starbucks forever from our shores. Why can’t we do the same thing to Hamas?
8) My Brain vies-a-vie Learning Hebrew: 30-Something Years Older and 30-Something Percent Less Absorbent! I’d like to use “peri-Menopause” as an excuse as to why I’m still struggling at first-grade level with learning the Hebrew language, but my doctor says I have the hormones of a 16 year old (I believe the word she used while reviewing my blood labs was “disgusting”), so I guess I can’t. I CAN say that at the age of 50 that my brain is so full of accumulated wisdom gained at the School of Hard Knocks (where I earned a PhD or two) that there just isn’t very much room for Hebrew. Plus there’s all that “damaged” area from the Grateful Dead concerts and accompanying psychedelics. On X-Rays it looks less like gray matter than tie-dyed matter. I’m hoping some of that can be reclaimed and re-forested, so to speak, with Hebrew verbs, conjugation patterns and vocabulary words.
9) Million-dollar apartments in Jerusalem standing empty most of the year. The real estate boom is an atom bomb, and the fallout is that hundreds of lavish overpriced apartments built and owed by rich Anglo and French Jews who only come for “The Holidays” (Purim / Pesach / Shavuot in the Spring and Rosh HaShannah, Yom Kippur / Sukkot in the Autumn) stand empty most of the year while poor Jerusalemites crowd 15-deep in squalid apartments built for two to four inhabitants. Jerusalem is a “pilgrim city.” No one here should be homeless, and no homes here should stand cold and empty while their owners party it up in the Galut. Either let poor Israelis live there while you are away, or pay a “luxury tax” we could use to house the poor!
10) Shocking Over-Use of Spandex, Spangles and Glitter. While many (including myself) might argue that the use of any of the above-mentioned items constitutes over-use (except of course on Purim), the influx of Euro-trash fashion that accompanied emigrating Soviet Jewry out of Russia and onto our streets, our malls, our busses, is truly cause for dismay. Especially on wedding dresses. “Cheap trashy slut” is simply not a good look for a bride.

Purim - Truth and / or Consequences

We had 3 days of Purim in Jerusalem this year because of the calendar anomalies plus the fact that we live in a "walled city," thus qualifying and compelling us to celebrate "Shushan Purim" as well.

Everyone is still walking around with Purim hangovers and evidence of various Purim injuries - limps, bruises, black eyes, etc. - can be seen beneath both black hats and white kippot.

I came as my True Self, a.k.a. a work of art. Magic wand, disco-glitter Mickey Mouse ears and all. Drank only wine but still managed to give myself a headache.

Masks came off. Truth was revealed. True Selves were revealed and some of it was just plain scary. I officially lost a friend who, when unmasked, was exposed as an unrepentant dishonorable traitor. I mourn the loss of the "ideal" while still in shock over what is truly "real."

But as for me, I still believe in magic...and always will. NO MATTER WHAT.

I'm BAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!

After 18 torturously long days without personal computer technology (thanks to the Great Robbery of March 2nd), I've been restored to the world of electronic communication thanks to the chesedic stylings of Jay Winston, Yeshiva boucher and "mule" par excellance. B"H for my new laptop which arrived with Jay today.
I'm BAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good - this week is my 1-year anniversary of arrival in Israel - Aliyah - AND my son David has joined me here in Jerusalem this week as well...pictured here with me in what has now become family tradition - ("let's go to the Kotel and take our pictures together!")

The Bad - I was robbed last Sunday. Laptop, TV, Jewelry...all GWTW. The laptop really hurts. And no, I did not have "insurance," thanks for asking. While some have intimated the robbers might have been local junkies, I prefer to imagine an elderly Tzaddick who needed money to buy Shabbas dinners for many poor Talmudeem Chochamim broke into my house by reciting Kabalistic incantations, causing the lock to open of itself and my highly hockable personal electronics and jewelry to float into his waiting arms. Karmic tzadaka or simply another day in the life of the petty theft industry? Only G_d knows.

The Ugly - mass murder at Mercaz HaRav Yeshiva, a short distance from where I live in Jerusalem, pictures of which are featured on this blog in September's coverage of Rav Shapira's funeral. Very, very ugly and beyond, beyond bad. Cannot elaborate on this horror any more than has already been published world-wide.

To ALL - the Good, the Bad and especially the Ugly: please G_d, we want Moschiach and we want Moschiach NOW!

Calm Before The Storm

Spectacular, sunny and pleasant today in Jerusalem, cats and people are taking in the rays with a watchful eye on the skies, as we're expecting a 20 degree (Farenheidt, not that wierd Celcius thing) drop in temperature within 24 hours, followed by a snowstorm.
Even though we remember daily in our prayers that HaShem delivered us from Egypt, we still hang out in the land of Denial (de Nile -duh!), each in his or her own way. Today we're warm, tomorrow we're cold. Today we have "quiet" - the word we use to describe the absence of either terrorism or a full-out war - tomorrow we may, G_d forbid, have... noise. What do we do during the calm before the storm? Sit in the sun and sigh.

Islamic Fascist Terrorists use Downs Syndrome women as Suicide Bombers - Surpassing Dr. Mengele!

In what can only be described as new heights in the lowest of the low, Islamic Fascist Terrorists strapped bombs onto the bodies of two women with Downs Syndrome and let them loose in a crowded marketplace, detonating them and killing 99 people in Iraq today.

They've used the poor. They've used their own children. Now they are using the disabled. Who's next?

If anyone had any small vestige or shred of doubt about the pure evil of this spiritual darkness, this ought to dispell any notions that we are dealing with a culture worse, if conceivably possible, than even the Nazis. Dr. Mengele himself would have been proud of the guy who masterminded using the disabled as unwitting suicide bombers.

Link to the story at:

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1201523808635&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Snow Day in Jerusalem

Took Jesse to the airport, where he flew away to America, land of hot and cold running comfort. Found the one and only Nesher "taxi" (a big cargo van which holds 10 people plus the driver) willing to go to Jerusalem in the snow. We drove behind a snow plow and a police car - literally the ONLY car on the icy road last night - until we climbed the hills ascending to the Holy City and saw....not "Jerusalem of Gold," but Jerusalem of White, all white, covered in a blanket of soft, falling snow. Then it HAILED on us as we were driving through Mea Shearim. The very few Hassidim who were in the streets (plastic covered Streimels and all) were hurrying home and being pelted by hail as well (just regular hail, not hail mixed with fire - although that kind should have been falling in Rehavia, at the residence of Prime Minister "Loser" Olmert). Finally the driver let me off at the Shuk, and I walked back to my apartment through the snow (normally a 5-minute walk, took me 15 minutes through wet and slush). Came home - no water, no heat. Everything frozen. Waiting for the plumber to come -again - and using a dust pan to shovel snow off of the porches.
Happy winter in Nachalot!

Waiting for Snow

Here I am practically cuddling with my "Neft" (kerosene) - filled radiator - my new best friend.

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but here it's so delightful - so since there's no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"

Either there will be snow or this is just another bogus weather report, like the alleged gigantic storm that never materialized in December. For all this bluster and blunder and very very cold wind and rain, we better get some of the photogenic white stuff out of it.

The Great Mabul of 5768

Pictured here are snapshots from the Great Mabul ("Flood") of Nachlaot, which began for the general public several weeks ago when temperatures plummeted below zero every night. Suddenly, in Nachlaot, which can easily be described as "funky / cool" (read: old and rickety but filled with really cool people) neighborhood, the Mabul was upon us. Not a street was spared. Pipes broke, "Dude Shemesh" (solar / electric rooftop water heaters) explosions were commonplace, and it hit home for me personally on 16 Shevat 5768 (last Wednesday) when water began oozing from where the floor meets the wall in the bathroom.

Over the next week every towel was used, over and over, hung out to dry in the not-too-far-above-freezing temperatures to mop up the water while my French realtors smoked and exchanged sarcastic barbs with plumbers, but nothing much got done.

Friday, Erev Shabbas, while cooking meals for Friday night and Saturday lunch for 16 people, the building's water supply was shut down, and only restored to partial capacity for Shabbat. During Shabbat no towels could be wrung out, and now not only are a dozen wet towels hanging on my clothesline but ... it's raining. In fact, it's been raining since Friday night. Every towel that hung out to dry is far wetter than it was before, and the skies are stormy today too.

*****Point of order: I do have a washing machine (Israeli style - 1 small load / 2 hours to wash) but don't have a dryer.

Right now, as the dry towel supply is exhausted, we're managing with these diaper-like shmatas (rags) and wringing them out by hand every 90 minutes.

* * * NOTE TO WORLD: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SPONGE MOP HERE IN ISRAEL. Some smart marketing person should be thinking about importing them and teaching Israelis about the concept of mops which automatically wring themselves out for you with just the flip of a switch....like we have in America.

We can even engrave on the handle: do not use on Shabbat.

Meanwhile, insurance people, lawyers, the building committee, my realtors and seemingly everyone else including the Jerusalem Municipality who controls water supplies are arguing with each other, in Hebrew. Chances are someone may put us in a hotel for the duration of the flood. I'm taking my cues from Noah on this one.

Vote Now or Jerusalem Won't "Pass Go!"

Jerusalem Post:

The bitterly coveted Holy City of Jerusalem has known its share of wars and battles as it passed from one conqueror to another. But now, a different sort of feud is heating up involving scores of cities around the world.
Jerusalem is facing off against 67 other cities in what is being dubbed the clash of the 21st century. And, as befits the modern age, the battle is being fought on the Internet.
The makers of Monopoly are inviting fans worldwide to vote in an on-line contest that will determine which 22 cities will be etched in the collective memory for a new global edition of the 75-year-old board game.
The contest, which got under way this week and will continue through February 28, will allow Monopoly fans the world over to cast their ballots for the 10 best cities out of a pre-selected list of 68, including Jerusalem. The 20 cities with the highest number of votes will make it onto the new global Monopoly board. Two other cities, not on the ballot list, will be selected by a separate write-in vote.
The non-scientific poll to determine which cities pass go and collect global acclaim allows fans to vote every day of the monthlong contest at www.monopoly.com.
The Talmud says that of the 10 measures of beauty descended upon the world, nine are found in Jerusalem. But as of Thursday, Paris, London and New York were in the top three spots.
Jerusalem was listed at 27, just behind Los Angeles (one of six US cities in the listing) and lagging behind another Middle East city, Cairo, at 17.
The top vote-winner will be awarded the exclusive Boardwalk position, while No. 2 will get Park Place in the new game, which will come out in August.
"Monopoly is the world's most popular board game and it transcends cultural barriers," said Helen Martin, global brand leader for the Monopoly brand.
More than 750 million people have played the game since it was first introduced nearly 75 years ago. It is now sold in more than 100 countries around the world, in 37 language versions.

Hamas Blasts Gaza-Egypt Border Wide Open

(IsraelNN.com) Hundreds of thousands of PA Arabs crossed the Gaza-Egypt border Wednesday after masked Hamas men bombed the border fence in at least 15 locations. 350,000 crossed to Egypt, the United Nations says.
Almost the entire metal border fence has been torn down. Some of the Gazans crossed back into Gaza after buying gas, cigarettes and other supplies in the Egyptian side of the town of Rafiah, which straddles the border. Many, however, continued to el-Arish, where they will apparently stay as refugees. Egyptian and Hamas police stood aside as bulldozers arrived to complete the demolition of the wall.
Initial reports pointed to "unknown gunmen," but A-Shark Al-Awsat, a leading Arabic paper, says Hamas security forces were involved in the demolition.
Israel relinquished control of the Gaza-Egyptian border, known as the Philadelphi Route, following the 2005 Disengagement, at the urging of the US and with promises that European Union observers would monitor the border. Since then, it has stayed open for months at a time.
More than fifty women were wounded by Egyptian gunfire Tuesday as an all-female riot broke out on the Gaza side of the crossing and the women tried to break through to Egypt. The Egyptians began with water-cannons but shooting broke out eventually; it is unclear who shot first, the Egyptian police or the Hamas men circulating in the crowd.
Israel has backed down from placing a full blockade on Gaza, delivering butane gas for cooking and diesel fuel for Gaza’s power plant, as well as medicines. Despite the delivery, more than 20 rockets were fired at Israeli towns in the western Negev Tuesday.
Fatah in Gaza said it was behind the latest rocket-fire and declared it would continue to fire rockets at Israel. Fatah’s chief, PA Chairman Mahmoud Abbas, is the recipient of billions of dollars in pledges from the international community, as well as US efforts to fund and train his armed forces.

Holy Land or Banana Republic?

LESS THAN A BANANA REPUBLIC
by Emanuel A. Winston,
a Middle East Analyst & Commentator

Regrettably, it has come to pass that over time the "kleina menchen" (small men) who purport to lead Israel have dropped the Jewish nation down to being a shtetle, or as is more commonly known, a "Banana Republic".

To observe an American President come to Israel and make political speeches advising the nation of Israel to keep Prime Minister Ehud Olmert in office is a vulgar display of arrogance.The "small men" like Olmert and his political followers groveled in a way exceeding all past displays of submission.

President George W. Bush came into the Jewish State, swinging the axe of a threatening Super Power. Telling the Israelis that they must obey his orders and return to the 1949-67 Armistice Lines is the height of arrogance.

After more than 60 years of unnecessary war and terror by the Muslim Arabs, this ignorant politician ignored that history, parroting the State Department language of two democratic states living side by side in peace. He said this even as Kassam Rockets were falling on Sderot and Ashkelon.

It is permissible to be ignorant but, not to shout out one’s ignorance at the top of his voice. This President and his Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice both encouraged Israel’s former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and today’s PM Ehud Olmert to abandon 10,000 Jewish men, women and children from Gush Katif/Gaza and 4 Northern Samarian communities and surrender the Gaza. The Gaza Strip became the inevitable Global Terror base with tonnage of weapons - "homemade" Kassam Rockets, explosives, high tech arms and more Terrorists smuggled in from Egypt and the sea. The Kassam Rockets and mortars rain down on the southern communities every single day, giving the civilians 15 seconds to reach a concrete shelter. How would you like your children to live like that - every day, Mr. President and Ms. Rice?

The area evacuated by the 4 Northern Samarian communities enable the Terrorists to oversee and control access to Israel’s coastal plain with 70% of her population and industry. Now, under the direct orders of a sophomoric President, the center, the heartland, the ancient Jewish Holy religious sites are supposed to be given over to these same Muslim Terrorists so every centimeter of Israel can be in range of bigger, more accurate missiles.

The small-minded men and women, from Olmert on down to the Leftists who think they will be out of range along the coast, will bleat and moan as they cower in bomb shelters. Suddenly, the people, even the Leftists, will want to arrest and bring to trial the Kadimites and Labor Leftists - with hanging as a sentencing option - but by then it will be too late. They wanted the status of a Banana Republic, assuming others would somehow defend them and - when there was no defense, how they will cry. Some will suddenly find G-d and plead: "Why did You abandon us?"

Even Banana Republics, while glad to accept the money, at least retain their pride. When asked by their benefactors to roll over and grovel, they resist. But, Israel’s small-minded so-called leaders are not embarrassed to roll over, exposing their tender private parts - as long as they can stay in power and receive copious aid.Olmert is simply the latest of these flea-ridden leeches, willing to sell out their nation and her people for either personal gain or to fulfill their destiny of cowardice in the face of both their enemies and their so-called friends with deep pockets.

The message they convey is that "Israel has, indeed, become a Third World Banana Republic and, if the enemies and the world nations wish to own Israel, then they can have her. We didn’t really want her anyway. The State of Israel was too Jewish for us. We wanted to de-Judaize Israel but, it didn’t work. Too many Jews, real Jews, who wanted Israel to stand up for herself and be Jewish. Jews who wanted to build a Jewish State and come to live there - on the Land G-d gave us. To build a modern, Jewish State, with scientific discoveries and artistic creations to benefit mankind; to live in an ancient Jewish Land, following Jewish laws, raising Jewish children...being a 'Light Unto the Nations'. ""But, we really didn’t want it anyway." This is the message coming from the Government of Israel and the Jewish Media in Israel, America and Europe. "Sha-Sha; tone it down". Don’t speak about the naked leaders of Israel who strut about in high society as if they were robed in the finest of garments. Israel has become a zoo of grinning political primates whose leaders line up for photo-ops for the price of a banana. Have you ever seen Olmert with his arm hanging onto the shoulder of Bush and/or Rice, grinning like the man-child he really is? Notice the forced expressions of acceptance by Bush and Rice, who clearly wish that his offensive arm would shrivel and fall away from his shoulder. Remember: "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand whither."

Of course, there are the good people in Israel, the majority, who love the Land and are comfortable within their skin as Jews. They definitely drift Right and, you will see them as pioneers in the Settlements, walking tall and proud. There are those in Tel Aviv and Haifa, etc., who are equally proud of their Jewishness and grateful for the Land but, not all. Then there are the large number of Leftists who hate the ground they walk on because it is imbued with Jewishness and they strive to distance themselves from their Jewishness.

There are those of us who are the "whistle-blowers" , the canaries in the mine, who speak out against those so-called leaders who have feet of dirty clay. We are not necessarily well-liked or appreciated because we "Shrei Gevalt" when we see our leaders bond with our enemies. Suddenly, editors and publishers get messages from Leftist friends, relatives to cease publishing exposés. Then calls come from Jewish organizational directors who themselves have received subtle or not so subtle messages from the State Department, friends of the Administration. Then calls come from Israeli government apparatchniks who complain about being researched and exposed in print to their nefarious activities. I recall how Shimon Peres as Foreign Minister issued an order to all government offices not to receive free issues of the Jerusalem Post because they published a host of exposés about him and the misuse of his position as Foreign Minister.

Whistle-blowers always take the heat. Today we observe Israeli Jewish leaders genuflect and grovel with a grin as an American President says "On my orders you must withdraw to the 1949/67 Armistice Lines as permanent borders." Where are the American Jewish organizations with their leaders, and the Jewish newspapers objecting to these high-handed "diktats" from a lame duck President? Are they cowering and spiking stories that say Israel cannot, should not listen to a President whose future is tied to oil-bearing Muslim Arab nations. He should have re-cused himself, not unlike a Judge who has personal interests in the outcome of a case before him.

Bush, his family, Baker, the multi-national oil companies - they are all tied to their prejudiced and vested interests in selling out the Jewish State of Israel. Where the hell is the Media? Where is the Jewish Press in Israel and America?

I know where we, the canaries in the mine, stand. We are compelled to shout and try to get the public to see what is obvious. I thank G-d for Christian Zionists who have no reluctance or fear to come to Israel’s aid and support. Their forceful presence shames the Jewish leaders, the Jewish Media because they are NOT fearful. Granted Jews have a justifiable fear that speaking up about it will increase anti-Semitism. They haven’t learned that silence also brings out anti-Semitism. The owners, publishers, editors of the Jewish media who "Tone Down" or eliminate those who "Shrei Gevalt!" - only exacerbate the assault against the Jewish State and Jews world-wide.

Blabbering about the "Peace Process" and the pursuit of peace - which never comes- is merely a false shield to avoid the guilt for not fighting back to defend ourselves and our people. Banana Republics have a way of simply being absorbed and thus they disappear.

Olmert's nose firmly lodged up President Bush's ass

The word on the street here in Jerusalem is that spectacularly unpopular, criminally implicated, desperate to hang on to power Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's nose has lodged so firmly up the ass of visiting U.S. President George W. Bush that emergency paramedics have been called to the scene.

Olmert's fawning and brown-nosing nauseated Israelis and New Olim from the United States as well. "Air Sickness" bags were distributed at every street corner, and were being used vigorously by all - from black hat Haredim to white kippah Religious Zionists, and everybody in-between.

Most over-used and meaningless word during the press conference: "VISION."

What vision? Whose vision? The ghastly nightmare vision of creating a terrorist state in the middle of the holy Land of Israel?

"Where there is no vision the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he." - Proverbs 29:18"

Meanwhile, in yet another surrealistic moment, right this very moment on Al Jazeera's English language TV station, Noa Epstein from Peach Now is kvelling about how widespread and accepted the idea of a "Two-State Solution" has become in Israel and throughout the rest of the world. "The Wicked Son" principal in action.

Fortunately, none of this matters, as only Ha Kodesh Baruch Hu, Ribbono Shel Olam Himself has any real power here. Our part is to entreat and beseech Him for His grace, kindness and mercy. Let's escalate our prayers instead of our security alert levels, shall we?
Amen and amen!

George W. Bush: Bad for Traffic, Good for Poster Art

Walking home from a meeting I ran straight into George W. Bush's motorcade proceeding up Gaza Street to Agron and King George (pictured), on his way to the King David Hotel. At least 10,000 police stationed along the way tried to tell me I couldn't walk home this way, and yet...there I was, walking home. Immediately after the motorcade passed, activists raised the pictured poster art, a picture of GWB which reads: "Founding Father of Hamastine" (play on words for Hamas-run Palestine). The police had no interest in stopping the poster art guys and even helped them secure the gigantic graphic to the front of the building.

All over Jerusalem, political poster art abounds.

George W. Bush : Accomplice to Terror or Ignorant Frat Boy? You be the Judge!

Israeli police are not thrilled about the concept of "Free Speech" when it comes from right-wing activists.

From the Jerusalem Post:

Six youths were arrested Monday night in Jerusalem as they were hanging anti-Bush posters ahead of the American president's visit.
The posters depict Bush, Olmert and Peres wearing Palestinian kaffiyehs, with a banner running "accomplices to terror".
The youths told police that they were paid to hang the posters by extreme right-wing activist Itamar Ben Gvir, of the National Jewish Front.
Ben Gvir admitted to having printed the posters, adding that he would continue to do so as it was perfectly within the limits of the law.
He also said police must learn that "free speech is not just for lefties."
Police were preparing Tuesday for a string of protests, by both left and right, during the US president's visit. Right-wing activists were expected to try and create a "human chain" around the walls of Jerusalem's Old City, while left-wing activists were planning to hold a protest in front of the American Consulate in Jerusalem.